Psssst. Listen up….I got a secret….Maybe it’s one you already know about….Some gay bars can be a whooole lotta fun!

It really doesn’t matter which side of the bread you spread your butter on, gay bars are just insanely goofy! Let’s say you’re feeling a little bit frisky, a little adventurous---however your “comfort level” still draws the line on nipple-rings, hairy chests, and repeated choruses of “Y.M.C.A”. Well, if you’re not afraid to hang out with mostly dudes--all standin’ around posing like they think they’re hawt, then The Abbey is a wonderland where you can get your drink on & get your swerve on--(???)--all to the beat of a loud “boom-boom-boom” sound system in a huuugge establishment that’s actually kind of---safe.

Situated near Santa Monica Blvd. just a block east of The Troubador, The Abbey (actually located at 692 N. Robertson Blvd. in West Hollywood--alongside its sister-club Here Bar) marks the beginning of the heart of “Boys Town” to the west, while La Cienega Blvd. marks the end of “Boys Town” to the east. (Not coincidentally, it’s the same 3-block grid that hosts WeHo’s annual “FREAK SHOW” on Halloween night….I’m sorry, I mean, its--annual “Carnivale”.)

As for Rage and Micky’s just a block--block & a half up the street---ummm, I don’t knoooow. There’s something kinda hardcore about them. Like you’re suddenly in a real bad scene in William Friedkin’s “Cruising”….All that leather and those assless chaps. And those spurs that go jingle-jangle-jingle….Okay-okay, bad BAD stereotyping (visions of “The Freak Show” still running around inside my head). But at least in The Abbey, you’re more likely to find guys closer to Heath & Gyllenhaal---and, you’re not so anxious about going to pee.

First of all, “Boys Town” in general….WHO KNEW Santa Monica Blvd. was this busy on a weekend night!! Everybody is out here….And I do mean, EVERYBODY! (Let’s just say, people you didn’t expect to see are out here partyin’ it up.) And there’s no real embarrassment though because--HEY! YOU’RE OUT HERE TOO, BUDDY. It’s an unspoken camaraderie along the lines of “We’re all in this together so….Sshhhhh”. And The Abbey specifically caters to a more upscale clientele. “The gay who is dressed for excess!”....SUCCESS! Success! (Oh crap. Did I just say “excess”??) Anyways, it’s a target-rich crowd that prefers mixing it up with a few of their straight yet gay-friendly peeps, rather than descend upon the dark-&-dungeonous Rage where all sorts of---gelatinous God-knows-what is happening in the dark.